Make & Do: Home-Made Short-Notice Harry Potter Costume

Yesterday morning I received a text message "reminding" me that my friend Richard's birthday party that evening was fancy dress.  But it was the first I heard of it!  So I put my thinking cap (or sorting hat!) on, and thought what I could rustle up at short notice.  People always comment on my resemblance to a certain boy wizard (and Harry Potter is that boy wizard), so my decision was easy enough!

Now all I needed was the ingredients!

But what is Harry Potter known for?  Some things sprang to mind easily, some took a little longer, but pretty soon I had a definitive list of necessaries:

- large plastic-framed spectacles
- the metereological scar on his forehead
- a school tie
- his pet owl Hagrid
- a hat with a face on it
- an invisibility cloak
- a NIMBY HS2000 flying brush
- the medal he was awarded by Princess Leia at the end of Prisoner of Alcatraz when he destroyed the Ring of Power and defeated Lord Vorderman.

Video Blog Thursday: Phil's New Play

This is my current favourite stand-up routine.  I thought it would work nicely as a video blog, so that's what I've done.  Thursdays are going to be my day off for the foreseeable future, so if I'm at all organised, I hope to make this a regular feature.

Direct link to video

In other news, I will get on with uploading some new very short stories forthwith.  Promise.

Link of the Day: Shower Scene

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Cloud Junkies

Although I've not been posting, things have been very busy for me here at EvilFlea Towers (I've never called it that before, but I'm considering starting).  I'd put posting here on the back-burner for a little while, because I have a few things I intend to be more organised with, and I've been more seriously trying to establish myself as a regular on the stand-up comedy circuit.  Then I found myself in a play and (willingly) co-opted into another top-secret project, so even the stuff that put this site on the back-burner, has been itself temporarily moved onto the back-burner.

Then, this week, I was challenged to make up a story on the spot based on two words chosen by my challenger.  Those two words turned out to be "cloud" and "junkies".  And I was bloody pleased with the story I came up with.  So today I wrote it up.  And drew a picture for it.  Enjoy.

Cloud Junkies

The day of the professionalisation of cloud-spotting was perhaps our greatest mistake. Everything changed that day. What started as an amusing pastime of children and tourists, seeing animals and objects in the sky that weren't really there, became a mascot for the rampant commercialisation of everyday fun.

It all started innocuously enough. International tournaments broke TV viewing figures. The very best cloud-spotters, who saw Father Christmas riding in on dreadnaught battleships, and cats chasing dogs with flaming tridents, became household names.

It wasn't long before Channel 5 were broadcasting cloud-spotting-themed dating shows in the primetime slot on Saturday nights, and even The Royal Family published cloud-spotting publicity photos to show how much they had in common with ordinary folk like you and I.

Very Short Mondays: Shoes With Little Bows On

Collette wondered when all the other women on the train started wearing shoes with little bows on them.  It can't have been more than three months ago that they all wore buckles.

And that was when she made her decision.

Four months later, she sat on the train smiling to herself.  She looked from one woman's feet to the next - knowing that her own looked just as ridiculous - and knew that if she really put her mind to it, she could make anything happen.


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Link of the Day:  65 Beautiful Fonts You Can Download For Free

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Very Short Mondays: An Approach

"What do you say?"

"I'm not interested.  Thank you."

"Even if I threw in Cumbria?"

"Cumbria?  What would I want with Cumbria?"

"Apart from it being so very big?"

"'Big' and 'useful' are not necessarily easy bedfellows."

"Whereas I'd argue that 'big' and 'potential' are exactly that."

"That may be, but it's not exactly flat, is it?  I need 'flat' more than I need 'big'."

"That can be taken care of."

"At a great deal of expense, yes.  And we don't have that kind of funding."

"We'd foot the bill for that."

"Well that's very nice of you, but how would you make up for the time lost to our competitors while we wait for it?  Our technology isn't going to develop itself."

"-"

"I would have settled for a small corner of East Anglia.  But then that's not what you came here for, is it?"

"I'll have to inform my superiors of your decision."

"Please do."


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Link of the Day:  NEW AT 10: PB&J SANDWICHES

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Very Short Mondays: String Vest

Clive sat on a bench looking out to sea.  His eyes stung a little from the sun cream that his sweat had carried into them.  He also wasn't quite used to seeing the full brightness of day, having broken his glasses a fortnight before, and he couldn't afford UV-reactive lenses in his replacement pair.

He looked down at himself.  He shuffled backwards in his seat, made a token effort to sit up straight.

Last year he strutted his stuff up and down the promenade, proud to let it all hang out.  But not since...

Well.  Not since.  Not after.

He had always wondered what possible reason any man could have for buying a string vest.  Now, at least, he had his own reason.  He could cover up, without it quite covering him up.  Not completely, anyway.

It felt positive.  It felt like a step in the right direction.


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Link of the Day: Knock Knock

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Very Short Mondays: The Telephone Call

There she is again, yacking away, acting like she's not enjoying the gossip.  My intention was to be looking at the crossword but instead I'm trying to work out who the bloody hell she's talking to at this hour.  Is it one of her sisters or a work colleague?  Or her mother?  Maybe my mother?

This didn't used to bother me.  But then, I used to overhear her talking about me.  It was all "Georgie this" and "Georgie that" not so long ago.  She'd be crying down the phone to her best mate, over some daft little thing that reminded her of me.

Now it's like I don't exist.

But, it's been three years now, and I guess she's moved on.  I only wish I could do the same.


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Link of the Day:  Angry Cats

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Very Short Mondays: The Loneliest Dragon In All The World

Crispin lay alone in the ashes of the forest that was once his home, and sighed.

This was not the sigh of someone whose colleague made racist comments at work, not the sigh of a dog whose human companion repeatedly and deliberately misplaced his stick.

This was the sigh of a dragon whose family had moved on without telling him.  Again.

"At least you've got a family," said Phoenix Mouse.

Oh, yes, and it was also the sigh of someone whose imaginary friend didn't know when he'd outstayed his welcome.


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Link of the Day: Dog Grooming Competition

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Very Short Mondays: Watching Carefully For the Next Thing To Come Around The Corner

Mat sat at the front of the bus, and watched the road in front of him.  He didn't do this, as a rule.  He didn't like to watch the oncoming traffic appearing around corners.  Didn't like to journey with his heart in his mouth.

But today was different.  Today he felt it was important to document his journey.  Not actually to physically document it, but to take in every detail.  There was a good chance this would be the last time he would ever make this journey.

And, now that the country was in its third week of national strikes, there was precious little traffic to worry about.


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Link of the Day: Gerard DuBois - Uncertainty / Part 1

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Very Short Mondays: The Recliner That Wouldn't Behave

Laurie sat down to think.  She knew she had forgotten something.  She ran through her mental checklist.  Everything seemed to be in order.

The only thing she hadn't done was get enough sleep.  She let herself lean gently back into the chair.  She heard the hinge creak as she gave it her weight.  Any second now it would collapse entirely.  It always did.  She smiled at the thought.  Strangely, this chair was the one thing she was really going to miss.

When she awoke it was already dark.  The next train wouldn't leave for another week.


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Link of the Day: Anamorphic Sculptures

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