Comedy Sketch: Detective Jack

I've started filming some comedy sketches I've written. Here's the first. I'm going to be having fun making lots of technical filming and screen acting mistakes (there were a few on this one) and then trying to avoid the same make on subsequent shoots.

So this is Detective Jack, an exciting new British cop drama. After the apparent murder of a young woman, a renegade detective who doesn't play by the rules sets out to prove that it was just an unfortunate accident.


Direct link to video
Starring me (obviously), Hannah Cheetham as 'Hannah', and Darren Latham as 'Simon Dray'.

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Link of the Day: Motivational Fitness Quotes On Pictures Of Drunk People (childish but funny)

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Very Short Mondays: The Girl In The Tin Foil Wrapper

The Girl In The Tin Foil Wrapper felt cold.  She pulled in the tin foil wrapper to close any gaps.

"Why don't you just put a jumper on?" said The Man With Three Scarves.

"No," said The Girl In The Tin Foil Wrapper.  "If it's good enough for marathon runners then it's good enough for me."

"But you're not a marathon runner."

The Girl In The Tin Foil Wrapper said nothing.  It was true.  She wasn't a marathon runner.  But she had been, once.  At the finish line a man gave her the tin foil wrapper she was wearing now.

It felt good.

Though today it was a bit torn in places.

Maybe she should run another marathon.  She made a mental note to google it later.  See what came up.


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Link of the Day: Good News!

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New Greetings Card, T-Shirt, etc: "Hosiery"

A new silly doodle.  When I thought of this idea initially, the brilliant Marc Johns came to mind, so its style is a little influenced by his.

You can buy 'Hosiery' greetings cards, prints, mugs, t-shirts etc on both my Redbubble and Spreadshirt shops.


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Link of the Day: Realistic Mario

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Very Short Mondays: The Man With Leaves On His Face

George shaved once, every year, towards the end of autumn, to remove the twiggy remains of his most unusual beard.

He didn't use any of the usual brands of razor, and instead carefully and expertly pruned his face with a pair of garden shears that had caused not a small number of nasty accidents in his younger days.

George had honed his technique since then, however, and now didn't even require the use of a mirror.

It was only now, as the Christmas season approached, that he would visit his family and friends, and allow photographs of himself to be taken.

He felt new.  Refreshed.  Ready to face the world.

Until the Spring.


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Link of the Day: Some Things

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Narwhals With Ears, #4: Spirals

Another narwhal FACT for you!  And plenty more where this came from*!

Prints and cards and stuff available from Redbubble.


*my brain. and pencil.


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Link of the Day: Walken In The Air

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Very Short Mondays: The Day The Newspaper Rang

The train carriage was busy.  Not full - all of the seats were taken, but only two or three people were standing.

No one was surprised when the ringing started.  A couple of people checked their phones to see if it was them.  But it wasn't, of course.

There was one man, looking awkward in a suit and a hat, and reading a newspaper.  He knew the ringing was his.  Cautiously, he held the newspaper to his ear.

"Please listen carefully to the recorded message.  You are next.  You are next."


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Link of the Day: Useful (well, interesting, anyway) Website List

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New Greetings Card: Birthday Nuts

This was my birthday card to my Mum earlier this week.  She got the original pen drawing, and now I've coloured it in on Photoshop for sale in my Redbubble shop.  Quite pleased with how it turned out.


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Link of the Day: MegaCity

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Very Short Mondays: Big Head

I started writing this about a month ago.  There was going to be more of it but I can't for the life of me remember what was going to happen.  But it kind of leaves some nice question marks as it is.

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Big Head

Nicholas went out for a walk.

He hadn't been out for a walk in three months.  Hadn't been out at all, in fact.  Nor had many other people.

Big Head hadn't been seen in two days.  The sky was empty, so Nicholas thought he'd risk it.

It wasn't to last.  Of course.  Just because It hadn't been seen didn't mean It wasn't there.

It was there alright, looking down on us all.  Looking and waiting for a fresh energy source.


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Link of the Day: Upsetting Vintage Recipes

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Video Blog Thursday: The Girl Who Collected Goats

Hello!

Not done one of these in ages, and I still haven't been back on a regular schedule on here, not least because I'm in a play at the moment.

But here we go.  I wrote this poem on the way to a spoken word gig at The Goat Inn in St Albans.  I'm not sure if it might have been subconscious, but it was totally unintentional that I wrote a poem about goats on the way to a pub called The Goat.  As much as I'd like to take credit for that.

As usual, it's very silly...

Direct link to video

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Link Of The Day: Dying For It - the play I'm in! It's in Brockley from 21st October to 8th November, so do come see.


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Very Short Mondays: The Coin-Operated Man

"Quick!" said the Coin-Operated Man as he burst through the door. "I bring terrible news!"

"What is it?" said the Professor.

"Hold on a moment," said the Coin-Operated Man. "Let me catch my breath."

"Bring his inhaler!" shouted the Professor to one of his assistants.

And the Coin-Operated Man wheezed and wheezed until they brought his inhaler.

"I'm okay now, I think," he said. "I bring terrible news. I've come to warn you of-"

Click.

"What? Come to warn us of what?" said the Professor. "Does anybody have any change?"

A sea of blank faces looked back at him. Some turned their empty pockets inside out.

"Professor," said the assistant who brought the inhaler. "I've always wondered. Why did you create the perfect Coin-Operated Man, and then give him asthma?"

"I'm not sure," said the Professor. "To make him more human, I guess. Although in hindsight it probably wasn't the best idea."

"Ah well," said the assistant. "It was probably nothing. You know how melodramatic he can be."

"Yeah," chuckled the Professor.

And so, we never saw Them coming.


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Link of the Day: Women Listening To Men

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